Stay With Me
by applegreeneye
Summary: Edward is trapped in, feeling isolated and willing to give up his battle to live. Bella is his new therapist who feels as though her mission is to save him even if it means fighting her own battles and making life threatening mistakes along the way. Rated M for dark themes from the start.
1. Prolouge

**Prologue** – In minds we bloom.

_It began with an idea._

_A little idea gnawing away at the back of my mind, itching._

_What if I didn't have to endure this life any longer?_

_No more fake smiles, cries for attention or drunken nights of abandonment. Maybe I could-_

_It was just an idea._

_But then it grew and grew, manifesting its way inside my mind, growing like ivy along my nerves; making my fingers twitch._

_The alcohol became it's water and, as I drenched my sorrows and became weaker, it grew stronger. I couldn't contain it any longer so I...let it grow. Let it take hold, went down without much of a fight. Please don't think I'm weak._

_You told me to stop drinking, we fought about it even. But it wasn't as easy as that. I tried, I really did. I made you cry with worry and while you didn't mean it to, it just made things worse._

_I never regretted falling in love with you, God how could I, but suddenly I felt like I had to make it end not just for me but for you. I knew you were falling for me but I also knew that you deserved better. I couldn't deny that I was a lost cause and...I didn't want to take you down with me._

_God this is so hard for me to write..._

_What I'm trying to say is Thank You. You helped me so much and I'll forever be in your debt. You helped me through these last few months more than I ever could of dreamt and I mean it when I say these have been the best few months of my life. _

_I want you to remember me as we were on that night we had the picnic under the stars; happy. Even if inside my mind the ivy was still growing._

_I want you to remember that this wasn't your fault, that the seed had been planted long before I had met you. However believe me when I tell you that you slowed it's growth more than I ever could of imagined._

_I want you to remember that this was fate. _

_As a hero of mine once said, it's better to burn out than to fade away Bella._

_All my love, Edward._


	2. Chapter 1 In Finding You

**Chapter One** – In Finding You

_3 months earlier_

EPOV

Funny thing isolation.

It makes my mind sharp, focused – it almost serves as a sort of meditation for me.

That's why I almost don't mind when the cops find me in the early hours of the morning caught in a fight, battling aimlessly, punching away my sanity. I look forward to it even.

Because, and I know this may sound peculiar, it gives me some sense of familiarity. The 6 by 8 room built with brick walls almost comforting in amongst the chaos that is my life.

I sat cross legged in the middle of the room, breathing in my thoughts...losing myself to the peacefulness and serenity that I welcome home within my body – it had been a while.

But of course it couldn't last long.

I felt the light change behind my tired closed eyelids and let a weary sigh escape my body.

'Edward Cullen?'

Time up.

* * *

'Edward-'

'Mr Cullen' I snapped, displeased she had already considered herself to be on first name terms with me.

She coughed, clearly uncomfortable, and began her sure to be patronizing speech again. She sat up a little straighter trying to regain some control over the situation.

'Mr Cullen...this can't go on-' I raised my eyebrows at that, widening my eyes and sitting back in my chair comfortably.

'First mistake.' I said quietly, confident in my words.

She sighed, removed her glasses and visibly slumped down in her chair. I was getting to her.

'I'm sorry Mr Cullen?'She said tiredly. Mid 40's, clearly unhappy and judging by her clothing trying to look professional on a tight budget. All in all – itching for this session to be over.

'You, as an _advisor_,' I put emphasis on the word, letting it roll of my tongue with a click, 'can't tell me what to do and what not to do. I retain the right of freedom'. I said the word freedom with a small smile, knowing full well inside that freedom was simply an illusion but a good cause for argument none the less.

She deflated even further at that – I took it as a sign of victory.

'Mr Cullen I can see this is going to be difficult so I'd like to get this over with quickly.' I smirked at her, giving her the slightest bit of credit. At least she was being honest, even though the motives she had given may not have been the full story.

She raised her eyebrow at my smirk and I simply gestured for her to go on, liking the control I had over the situation. Control was something I craved, loved.

She realised that the power was not hers and had to pause to regain her composure. She was on the edge.

I struggled to hold back my smirk as I clasped my hands together and said softly, 'In your own time', doing the perfect impression of a therapist.

She slammed her papers down in front of me at that, scraping back her chair, standing and leaning over me aggressively. I maintained my composure perfectly and even sneaked a glance at the two officers guarding the door who were glancing at each other with confused expressions.

_Bet they didn't think she would be the one to lose her cool._

'Edwa-Mr Cullen!' She snapped at me, gaining my attention immediately. 'I don't think you are taking this seriously! You have been taken in by our officers 5 times _this week. _This _cannot _and_ will __not _go on.' She said sternly, some of the redness fading from her aged cheeks as she spoke down at me, in her mind regaining control.

_'_I absolutely agree with you.' I said honestly, all traces of a smirk wiped of my face now.

She did a double take at that, blinking quickly and sitting down again.

_'_Right, well...good. That's good.' She muttered as she straightened her clothes and rearranged her papers distractedly.

'Look I...I really don't think you should go to so much trouble you know? It'll all be over soon.' I muttered. She glanced at me, concern etched into her face. That sounded too ominous even to me. 'I mean, this will' I said louder, gesturing around the cell.

'Oh right, well...good. That's a great mindset to have Edward.' She smiled at me and I learnt another of her traits – gullible.

She assumed she had made progress now and I decided to play along, I had already annoyed her enough and revealing my true thoughts – my true feelings – would no doubt just make this whole ordeal longer. And that really didn't need to happen any time soon.

'So can I go now-'

'We'd like to refer you to a therapist. She's a lovely girl, just graduated-'

I stopped her quickly.

'A therapist?' I laughed at her soft words, cutting through them with no second thoughts. My mood proved to be unpredictable again as the atmosphere underwent its second shift. 'How long does it take for you people to realise that doesn't work? I don't want to see her.'

I began to stand, grabbing my coat along the way.

'It's been a pleasure speaking to you, it really has', I said icily as I made my way towards the door.

'Her name's Isabella. Please just take her card. Give her a call Edward, she really could help you.'

Something made me stop. Stop in my tracks and turn slowly around to face the woman who had proved to be nothing but patronizing as of yet. I don't know what made me do it but something about her name just...

I snatched the card out of her hands and pocketed it quickly before hastily leaving the room, not wanting to witness the smug look of content that was surely on the woman's face.

I walked straight past my concerned father in reception and heard his sigh resonate through the hallway quickly followed by the sound of his footsteps following mine.

'Is this going to become routine Edward?' He said wearily, catching up by my side.

I sighed and stopped in my tracks, quickly becoming agitated.

'If you've come to lecture me-' I began, irritated even at his presence.

'No Edward I've come to bail you out.' He sharply cut me off, 'Again'.

We began walking again towards the lift at the end of the corridor that would take us to ground level and the car park where he had, somewhat riskily in these parts, parked his Aston Martin.

'Edward, please just stop and think about the consequences of your actions', he exclaimed angrily, I could almost hear the disappointment dripping from his tongue.

Carlisle is CEO and founder of Masen Electronics – a job which comes with a high public profile, one he is determined to maintain by all means possible. In the eyes of the public, my life is a lie. I dropped out of college last year yet the public believe I have just graduated and that I am, in my fathers own words, 'eager to follow in his footsteps'.

Along with my brother Emmett, who tells me that my lifetime problems with anxiety and depression are simply because I 'don't get laid enough', my family life is just about as screwed as the other components. In fact if it wasn't for my mother Esme, I don't even think I would of lasted to the grand old age of 21.

'Edward,' Carlisle brought my wandering mind back to reality as he grabbed my shoulder entering the lift, looking me over worriedly. I could see the dark circles under his eyes and felt a shiver of guilt tingle my spine for a second.

'Are you even listening to me son?' He asked tiredly, searching my eyes for my sanity.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, both to avoid the eye contact and to try and forget the fact that I was currently within the terrifying confides of a lift. I never had liked lifts, I already felt trapped enough in life; born and raised to inherit my fathers business with no say in the matter. I mean I was even named after the business, Edward Anthony _Masen_ Cullen...although he assures me the naming was the other way around as he acquired both a son and a powerful business within the same year.

I'd drifted off again but this time I was glad as reality only came around again when the lift dinged, signalling we had arrived. I stepped out quickly, eager to get home and calm my anxiety with the familiar smells and tastes of my favourite liquor. But for now...

'God, I need a cigarette.' I muttered to myself, running a hand through my tousled bronze hair.

I glanced around at the smoking employee's that lined the exit of the station, trying to judge who looked like a generous enough person to offer me a cigarette.

I spotted a girl who was away from the rest of the group and was...beautiful. She had long wavy brown hair and wasn't dressed like the other women I had seen so far today, no she dressed well and obviously knew to to emphasise her assets perfectly. She had her head down, taking long drags on her cigarette in-between biting her nails nervously.

She lifted her head slowly, sensing someone's gaze upon her and as her eyes found mine my breath became caught in my throat.

I was swept away amongst her large chocolate brown eyes which glinted in the light and suddenly I had an urge to talk to her. Now.

'Meet me in the car okay' I muttered under my breath to my father, striding away from him to the girl without breaking contact with her brown eyes.

She looked down nervously as I approached her but before she did I noticed the questioning look in her eyes. When she looked up again her expression became confused before finally a look of recognition followed. Ah, she must of seen my face in the papers flaunting a fake smile next to Carlisle.

She raised her eyebrow at me, taking a deep drag of her cigarette and studying my face as I reached her.

'Didn't think you would change your mind so quickly Edward...' She said with a small knowing smile on her lips.

Well that took me by surprise.

'I'm sorry?' I said, confusion etched on my features. It was only after I asked the question that I realised that somewhere between standing by the lift and by her now, I had acquired manners.

Her eyebrows scrunched up at that. 'Well...I know how troubled you've been recently Edward and for a lot of people it can be hard to accept help. So your instant dismissal of me earlier paired with the rather contradictory fact that you still took my card made me assume you knew you needed help but also needed a while to come around to the idea.'

And just like that she knew me better than the public did already, just by saying one sentence.

I stared at her dumbstruck for a while. Usually I would have made the connection instantly but something about her slowed me down and by the time I put two and two together, she had broken the eye contact and gone to take another slow, deep drag of her cigarette.

She reached into her bag and handed me a cigarette.

'I'm also assuming that seeing as though you didn't know who I was before you came over that you wanted a cigarette?' she asked me softly, smiling at me and dragging my gaze to her lips.

I snapped out of my daze.

'Thanks' I murmured as she reached up to light the cigarette dangling between my lips. Her fingers accidentally touched my lips as she went to move her hand away causing a slight blush to enter her ivory cheeks. It was beautiful.

'So...' I began taking a long, reliving drag, 'You're my therapist?'

'Yes Edward I am.' I loved the way my name sounded when she spoke it softly. Sweet and simple. 'And I'm here to help you because I don't, although I believe you do, think that you are a lost cause.'

She stood out from other therapists right away; she knew what I was actually thinking instead of just asking me which would lead to lies and deceit.

'So what do you say Edward? Will you let me help you?'

She had asked the question in such a soft, caring manner that I wondered in that instant how I could say no. She had already calmed me down and I was almost certain it had nothing to do with her offering me a cigarette.

I looked up into her brown eyes to reply when in my corner of my eye I saw a flash or red speeding from the car park. My eyes glanced in the direction and immediately my calm mood was ruined.

'What the fuck?' I exclaimed loudly, grabbing the attention of some of the officers beside me who were now glancing towards Bella and me nervously after my outburst.

Bella jumped back a bit, clearly caught in the moment too, and tried to catch whatever I was looking at so angrily now.

'What is it?' She asked tensely, worried about my sudden change in mood.

I threw the cigarette to the ground, stumping it out with my foot whilst shaking my head quickly.

'My oh so loving father has fucking left me here!' I knew I was swearing more than usual but I couldn't help the stream of profanities leaving my mouth as I realised that my father had left me helpless yet again.

My hands began to twitch and I began to shake with anger-

She touched my hand gently so that all the anger dissolved away quicker than it had come.

She looked into my eyes, 'Edward calm down. I'll give you a lift home'.

I didn't even want to go back to the house, I didn't dare to call it home, but the idea of spending even a few more minutes with her?

* * *

We pulled out of the stations car park with ease, the traffic minimal as the mornings rush hour was long gone. After Bella assured me that she had been on her break anyway and didn't mind driving the short distance to my house, I accepted her offer.

I sat glumly in the passenger seat, my mood dampened when my mind had realised how stupid my first impressions of Bella had been. Sure she was beautiful but the effect she was having on me was irritating. She made me feel paranoid about what she thought of me, insecure even. Does she just think I'm another messed up rich man's son who has been spoilt since birth? Did she really think I wasn't a lost cause or was she just saying that because it's her job?

I never cared about what people thought about me but around her, I did. And I didn't like that one bit.

I couldn't deny I was attracted to her though, maybe attracted was too soft a word...

The soft strumming of a guitar interrupted the comfortable silence between us and for a moment I was confused where the notes were coming from.

'Fuck' Bella cursed under her breath, her hand searching around the interior of the car for her cellphone. 'Where did I put it?', She wondered quietly as we stopped at some lights.

I could see it. It was slightly obscured beneath the skirt she was wearing and instead of just telling her I decided to be brave.

I reached across the gear-stick and slowly moved my hand towards her thigh, looking into her eyes as I did so.

Her breath hitched in her throat and she didn't even question my movements. Her eyes glazed over as my fingers skimmed her thighs and slowly dragged the cell out from beneath her. I smirked at her face encaptured in my movements as I dangled the phone in front of her eyes.

'Here it is' I murmured softly, glancing at her lips as I did so. I sneaked a glance in front of us. 'Oh, and the light is red Bella' I added.

She blushed hard as a horn blaring behind us snapped her out of her daze and she grabbed the phone in one hand pressing it against her ear whilst releasing the handbrake with the other.

'Hello?' She asked quietly. I smirked to myself as I realised she was trying to regain her composure. Maybe I had the same effect on her too..._Or maybe not._

'Hey baby' She said brightly, her face now showing no memory of the previous minute she had experienced in my company.

All traces of a smirk left my face as I realised she was taken. And then I realised how stupid I had been. A beautiful girl like Bella single?

_A beautiful girl ready and willing to help you Edward? Get over yourself._

The voices inside my head were becoming too much.

Bella hung up swiftly after a minute of conversation and then shyly glanced my way. She didn't say anything about it, she didn't have to. We'd only just met.

She stuck the indicator on and when I looked up I noticed she was turning into a garage to get some gas. I felt numb, like this had been the last straw. It felt as if God had tempted me one last time, showing me what I could have had. _If you had been better. If you hadn't of been such a massive fuck up Edward._

My breathing was quickening and I felt my control slipping. My shining coat of armour was coming off, the vulnerable Edward that not many got to see was coming out to play.

So I was thankful when Bella began to step out of the car because I sure didn't want her to see him.

She leaned down to my level by her opened door before she closed it to explain that she was just going to get some gas.

'Did you want anything?' She asked, biting her lip in a cute, endearing way.

_You._

I swallowed hard, casting my eyes to the exterior of my own window.

'No thanks' I barely mumbled, control slipping...

I heard her slam her door closed as she went to fill up the tank but I didn't see as my eyes were closed, trying to remember all those stupid calming techniques the anger management classes had tried to teach me.

I was on the edge. I needed something to kill the buzz. Something stronger than alcohol. I tried to convince myself it was just because I had had a bad day but it was a weak argument considering every day seemed to be bad these days. But how would I...

Then I remembered where I was. _Who_ I was with.

I saw her handbag and the prescription forms in it inside my mind before I saw them in real life. I didn't control my arms as they reached towards the zipper and I definitely didn't control them when they grabbed the last few forms and folded them neatly before placing them into my pocket.

By the time she had returned the plan was irreversible.

'Can you drop me at the pharmacy actually?' I asked distantly when she entered the car again.

I held my breath as she reached to place her purse back into her bag. Surely, along with the question , she would realise...

'Sure' She smiled at me, clearly not troubled by the question.

Maybe she was new to the job, she seemed to be very young anyway. Or maybe she had just not put two and two together. She would soon enough though. Maybe it would be when she got home and realised the forms were gone. Maybe it would be on the drive back to the station after she dropped me off. I didn't really care, I was just hoping it would be after she dropped me off rather than before.

Seems like my hoping paid off for once.

BPOV

I was with my second patient of the day, a lovely girl called Rosa who had had a rough upbringing but a girl whom I was sure had enough perseverance and willpower to get over her troubled past and make the most from a bad situation.

'I have every faith in you Rosa' I said softly, holding her palm tightly in mine. She nodded through the tears and quickly accepted the tissue I passed her over the table.

'Now I want you to know you can say no to my offer, that you don't have to take them if you feel they won't help you. But I think, and my colleagues think, that maybe a few anti-depression tablets could help you Rosa. Just for a couple of weeks anyway.' I hated prescribing tablets but sometimes, they really did help.

She nodded slowly, mopping her tears.

I smiled sadly at her, reaching for my handbag to grab the prescription forms I had placed in there earlier this morning. And was met with thin air.

I was confused – but only for a split second.

_'Can you drop me at the pharmacy actually?'_

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened as realisation hit me.

I had practically given my increasingly mentally unstable patient a handful of free prescription forms and then dropped him off at the pharmacy.

Oh _shit_.

**A/N – Not sure whether to continue with this story, please share your thoughts on whether I should. **

**If you don't have much time a simple rating out of 5 or 10 would be great.**

**I feel it was a bit rushed in the end but if I did continue events would slow down, I just felt that these events should all be included in the first chapter yet I didn't want to make it too long.**

**Thanks for reading anyway :)**


End file.
